Ya know what I hate?

[Starchild]

People who, from their comfortable positions in life, come up with the dazzling suggestion: "Why don't you just take any job for now?"

My God, why didn't I think of that?

The next time someone says that to me, there may well be a homicide.

No, I'll ask them to choose one for me and I'll apply for it.

I'll create a resume full of experience relevant to whatever it is the employer is asking, regardless of whether I think I can actually do any of it. I'll line up some fake referees who will be happy to attest to my suitability for the position, my outstanding work ethic, my contentment in a uniform striving only to serve the company.

I'll lie about my income in my last job. When I'm interviewed, I'll shrug and say I can manage very well on $40k a year.

I'll also lie about my age. They're not allowed to say this, but on what they're paying they expect a school leaver, not a woman in her 50s.

If it's less than 15 hours a week, I can do the job and continue to be hassled in my time off by government employees who haven't got proper jobs of their own, but spend their days shuffling papers and hammering square pegs into round holes.

Why don't I just take any job for now?

Because I'm my own woman.
Because the Universe expects and plans better for me.
Because I'm no longer for hire.

[Rodney]

Glad that's settled. :grin:

Fellatio Truth Movement was here...

[Lolawashere]

Hi Leah!! glad you are back. :D

did you ever look at craigslist in miami? or south florida?

[AttractionFactor]

Hi Leah!! :joylick::p

[Mariposa]

hi Leah! :hug::hug:


I am my own woman, I liked this!!

Own it! And give out some face punches to the next one who tells you that XD

[Starchild]

I had a morning of it yesterday.

First I had to attend a regular interview with my Job Service Provider. This is one of many agencies with a contract from the government to irritate the unwaged.

I turned up ten minutes early (my bad) and observed these parasitic paper shufflers doing their thing. They were clustered in twos and threes, drinking coffee and talking. The training room was full of badly dressed people sitting around a table telling dirty jokes. I've had to sit in that training room more than once, 9 to 5 for two consecutive days. Last 'course' I did there was a total rewrite of my resume.

Finally a grim-faced woman called me to her cubicle. She apologised for keeping me waiting and I said I could see how busy everyone was and besides, what else would I be doing?

She asked me how the job interview in Melbourne went. I said the editor was about 20 years younger than I with considerably less experience and I was applying to be her deputy, so as soon as we shook hands I knew which way the wind would blow.

She immediately said she could get me into a two-day course about dazzling interviews, which would show me all the tricks for getting the upper hand when I felt in any way at a disadvantage. I pointed out that what I'd needed at the most recent debacle was some way of getting the lower hand. My Key Worker was Not Amused. So... another two days in that room. Woo-fucking-hoo.

Further, after 18 months of unemployment, I was to see a government doctor for a thorough evaluation of my mental and physical competence. She took some time filling in the form for that. There was a whopping great list of debilitating conditions we had to go through, even though I said I was in perfect physical health. I had to say yes or no to each one, and it included lupus, HIV, amputation, blindness, deafness... She thought she'd hit paydirt with 'high blood pressure' and visibly wilted when I said I didn't have that either.

And more. I was to contact the Volunteers Bureau and get myself some recent experience.
I was to investigate Further Training that might (or might not) score me a position as a teacher's aide, on entry-level salary.
I was to contact 20 other employment agencies and put myself down for temp work.

Then there was another list to be got through, about my Personal Circumstances. I think we were both relieved I was able to check 'relationship breakdown' and 'at risk of homelessness'. She offered me free counselling for these matters and I said I didn't see how I would be able to find the time.

Finally she came up with a cramped-looking resume she herself had designed, and suggested I rewrite mine in the same style. I pointed out that I had done a two-day course in her workplace to come up with the present document, and had been assured this was the latest preferred style. I would say she took Umbrage at that. Really, I just didn't seem to be trying. So I squinted through her version and exclaimed: "By God, this rearrangement of my sorry facts is bound to make all the difference!"

By that time I had a stack of paper in front of me, all of which had something to do with getting me a job. I said there was one good thing about high unemployment: it created a LOT of 'work' for a LOT of people. She was rattling away on her keyboard at the time and I didn't think she'd heard me properly, so I further enquired whether there were any vacancies in her agency. I was certain I could sit there five days a week wasting trees and sending people on wild goose chases.

After 90 minutes I staggered out, my backpack brimming with appointments, and treated myself to a latte in what's left of Flinders Mall. Then I steeled myself for a visit to the Department of Housing, where I escaped with just one form and the knowledge that I have to ransack the boxes stored under a friend's place for certificates pertaining to my citizenship and my marriage, as well as produce documents proving the house sale and my final bank balance.

I was on a roll, so I checked the list of employment agencies and went to one of them. The place was a mausoleum and I waited some considerable time after hitting the dinger on the front counter. After I'd filled in an application form and been tutted at for not having a copy of my resume about my person, this bright young thing confided that things were "pretty quiet" and pointed me at another agency down the road. It had evidently moved since my Job Service Provider made its list, because they had it way out in the suburbs. So I was able to visit two within ten minutes, and register for non-existent temp work in both places.

After that I took the rest of the day off and got shit-faced. I suppose I'll have to apologise to the friend who finally snatched away the last inch of his whisky bottle just as I'd said: "We might as well knock this over, eh?"

Blah.

[Rodney]

Thanks for sharing. I like your writing style. Keep me posted as your story develops.

[Gina]

I'd buy that book. :heart:

[Starchild]

Seems my Key Worker inadvertently did me a coupla favours.

In forcing me to rewrite my resume she helped me figure out the kind of work I want to do for now, and I have an appointment about that next week. It's voluntary for starters but that's okay, because...

In sending me for a medical she got me written off as temporarily insane, which means I now have to go to a different Employment Service Provider. I just had a call about it and it means 1) reporting to the government less often; 2) being described as fit to work a maximum of 15 hours a week; and 3) shooting to the top of the priority housing list.

Thanks, former Key Worker. :grin:

Oh, and cancel the two-day interview course and all the temp agencies.