Letting go of the obligation mentality

[Osho Rewa]

It has become clear to me now that a sense of obligation, from a place of "I have to do this because" type burden cannot co-exist with freedom and joy.

Picture this the wife who worked herself to death, goes to heaven and tells god -
see what all I did for my husband, I cleaned for him, I cooked for him, I even went out and earned a living for both of us and all he did was sit in front of the TV, sleep and eat.
god says wonderful you - what you did was really wonderful.
and he gave you the experience of cleaning, and cooking, and struggling hard. Wonderful him!

With every action we serve, whether we're the one just eating the meal or cooking it both serve each other in having the experience. Life is already perfectly balanced, we do not have any obligations in this moment - none whatsoever.

And so I am here now letting go of my sense of obligation to my parents,
I'm letting go of my sense of obligation to my younger siblings
I am letting go of the sense of obligation to my larger family
I'm letting go of my obligation to to India
I'm letting go of my obligation to humankind



I will serve with all that I am, and that will be in the way my heart guides me. Its the difference between a meal mechanically served versus one served with love.

I choose love.

Rewa

[AttractionFactor]

Great post Rewa!

Abraham taught me not to save the world. At first I was resistant to that idea, since it conflicted
with my saviour mentality, but I realized you can't save the world, you can only save yourself.

And everyone is creating their own world that is perfect for them. Even that wife that cooks
for her husband and complains that he is not returning the favor. In her world this is what
feels right and it may not be what she wants but she is creating it.

Of course this also applies to the obedient husband who serves his wife and she sits
all day while he works, and he complains that she does not do anything for him. Yet he is creating
his reality from he feels is right for him and if he would stop complaining and focused on what
he wanted, he could change his reality.

As I think about this, I've learned to drop the oars on people's problems. All of us (me included) can create an array of interesting problems for ourselves and demand others to help us. And initially I would feel inclined to help everyone because it felt like an obligation.

But then I realize everyone is creating their problems, and they will need to learn how to get out of them, and I'm not there to do it for them. I can't do it for them.

So although I come across people who may find havoc in their lives, I've learned to drop the oars for them and say "I know things are hard, and I know you're going to go through some tough times, but I know you'll learn something from this because you'll learn you create your reality. And I don't need to feel guilt for feeling this way, because I too create my reality as well. All is well."

And for some that may sound selfish, but that's my view of things, because the only real person you can ever save is yourself. And when you save yourself first, you can help others, but until you focus on yourself, you're not going to be of much help to those who create problems.

So I let go of the oars, like you, to everyone in this world that we are all creating our own reality, and there is no obligation to save anyone but ourselves.

Steve

[Osho Rewa]

there is no obligation to save anyone but ourselves.

Steve

Even that's optional :tongue:

Steve I liked your post, it helped me deepen this - even though all may be labeling it a problem its an opportunity really. Join in if the opportunity feels exciting, else let the man continue lying there, excited Samaritans are coming along.

[SweetLeigh]

Rewa: Always choose the loving act. That is all that is required of us. Be the loving heart, doing the loving act.

One of the best ways to do this, is to cultivate your loving side of self. And, when you give expression of yourself, to another, God expands. So, thus, every act is loving, even though it may not look like it in the moment.

Because it is unknown by oneself, the reason why a certain vibration is being drawn out of you, by another. However, everything is always better, with the greatest amount of consciousness available in the moment it is happening.

When times can be a little tough for me, or I feel a bit hurt by someone, I say to myself: "There is only love." , in reference to the idea I expressed above.

:wave: Leigh

[Ess]

I love this thread because it reminds me of a conversation I had with this guy on Tuesday. He started to go on and on about all the suffering in the world, oppression, rascism, murders etc. Of course I refused to go there! :D I was there with my IB and I could feel him getting more and more upset because I would not agree with him. So I said to him I gotta go and we can lovingly agree to disagree because you cannot convince me that the world is terrible and I cannot convince you that the world is beautiful and wonderful.

I love that I can focus on my own happiness and let go of the misery of feeling obliged to right the 'wrongs' of the world. At the London workshop Abraham made it clear that there is a perfection in everything and that ALL are contributing to our VEs of a beautiful world.

Ess xx

[robert]

I just let go of a business relationship that was making me ill physically. With the help of an intuitive, it became clear what was going on, and I acted on it by getting out of the relationship. Now I see that there has been a ton of obligation in my life, and that as I let go of it, new wonderful things come in.

I am investigating this to gain support in letting go of everything obligation. Thanks for all your comments. They help!

[ChristinaofTX]

This is a very interesting thread - I love it. Yesterday I found myself doing an "obligation" -- I wondered how I attracted it because lately I've been so free. During the obligation another obligation came up. I felt awful. I didn't like being there. I didn't like the thought of another one either. I had taken my motherinlaw to the doctor. And that doctor wanted her to get another test sometime soon. And my husband had said he would take her and he would take her. But then she said NO someone has to stay with Pop (hes in a nursing home and her appointment fell when she usually sits with him) so off my husband went to sit with him and off I went to take her to the doctor. And then I sat there and waiting for the time to take her back home -- because the other daughter got wind I was out -- so all together 4 hours of my day on something I had no interest in doing whatsoever. I took a book, I took lunch, I found a place to wait in nature and all but it was something I wish I had not attracted.
So when I came home I had upstream thoughts for awhile about how I'd have to arrange the appointments so that it was in the afternoon so that Pop would already be asleep and my husband could take his mother to the doctor. And that felt yucky too. I wish complete release and freedom from what she is doing and from all doctor appointments. I let go. I dropped best as I could the oars.
I am always thinking I have to "DO" something to fix how it is to MAKE it come out right for me and for everybody. I know I just have to get aligned and then I think that probably I won't be here anymore or they won't be here anymore. The universe will arrange the break up party. So much has already happened to move in that direction.
The idea of "obligation" is so touchy for me because so much time passed with me believing I was obligated to do so many things I didn't want to do. And I did them all -- and then I found Abe about a year and a half ago. Now in this present moment there is more freedom for me -- so when I attract the slightest little event that is unwanted it surprises me and I wonder how I did that.
Everytime my husband goes to visit his Dad at the nursing home I enjoy my free time and solitude so much -- it's so new and great to be home alone and free.
More please - lot's more - freedom and joy that is. LOL
~Chris~

[Dance of Joy]

On the Mexican Cruise (2008) a guest asks Abraham about social responsibility.

Abraham answers: THERE IS NONE.

Love,
Christine

[Patricia b]

My dear friend Christina said
quote] But then she said NO someone has to stay with Pop (hes in a nursing home and her appointment fell when she usually sits with him) so off my husband went to sit with him and off I went to take her to the doctor.[[/quote]

Alternate scenario:
Christina said, "I have other plans for that day. Mom can take a taxi to the doctor and have a taxi take her home."
Hubby said, "That's a GREAT idea!"
Mom said, "But, but, but......"
Hubby and Christine said, "That's how it will be, Love."
Momma said,"Ohhhh, I just feel so SPECIAL!!"

Gotta continue to cut the cord there. You have made a quantum leap since this time last year, Christine!!!!!
:hug: Pat

[ChristinaofTX]

Hi Pat,
I can see my progress - but -- still DH is putting his parents first (and I attract that too). It gets a little confusing sometimes but I continue to see that I really am creating what I am experiencing. I may be creating from somewhere else real soon. :love:
~Chris~

[Osho Rewa]

humor is on-topic everywhere Lisa, love it

[ChristinaofTX]

LOL Lisa! I had never seen that cat but it's true my Meena bears a resemblance! rofl

[AttractionFactor]

I found this quote relevant to this topic.

** Don't save the world; save yourself

Don’t worry about this world; it is not broken. And don’t worry about others. You worry more about them than they do… There are people waging war; there are people on the battlefield who are more alive than they’ve ever been before. Don’t try to protect people from life; just let them have their experience while you focus upon your own experience. --- Abraham

Excerpted from the workshop in Tarrytown, NY on Saturday, May 8th, 2004

[sara]

...There is no stream of disease, poverty, or suffering; there is only a stream of well-being. You don't have to force yourself into alignment with this stream; it is your natural state. You just have to allow yourself to let go of the resistance that is keeping you from being aligned with the stream. ...
There is only one question you need to remember: In this moment, what is keeping me from being aligned with my stream of well-being? And if there is something, follow up with: Am I willing to let it go? When you answer yes, that is all the work that you have to do, and the universe will take care of the rest.
I LOVE THIS 11:11..WE CAN NOT HEAR IT ENOUGH TIMES!!!! THANKS!!!


** Don't save the world; save yourself

Don’t worry about this world; it is not broken. And don’t worry about others. ...there are people on the battlefield who are more alive than they’ve ever been before. Don’t try to protect people from life; just let them have their experience while you focus upon your own experience. --- Abraham
Excerpted from the workshop in Tarrytown, NY on Saturday, May 8th, 2004

I LOVE THIS QUOTE SOO THANKS STEVE!!! :hug: :heart: :heart: :hug:

[Nattydread]

I'm enjoying this thread guys... Thank you!
I have lived w/ the obligation mentality for a long while. Most of my life. I was raised w/ the belief that when one lives up to their obligations & responsibilities, well... It's the difference between a "righteous" person & a person who will not "inherit the kingdom of heaven". :roll: What a crock.
But the contrast of my experience surrounding that belief has served me well & I feel much appreciation for it. I launched some HUGE desires to feel FREE to do what I want, even when it's to lovingly say "No" to someone's request. As Abe says, (paraphrasing) it is through my alignment w/ Who I really AM (by following what feels good to ME) that I serve the world in a wonderful way. Ahhhhhh.... Sweet, guilt-free FREEDOM.

[Tai]

Osho

You are just the best.
Ever since I started to put myself in the first place, a lot of this has changed, and I am able to let go of this obligation feeling, but it still is something I have to 'work' on. (or take the emotional journey :winking: )
Just by reading this thread, I feel like I am ready for the next step in letting go of yet another bit of this, and I want to thank you with all my heart. :heart:

I choose to love myself and by that being the best expression of love I can be to others :heart:
Tai

[Nattydread]

I'm reading Illusions by Richard Bach & came across a line that reminded me of this thread...
"Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself."
I love synchronicities.

[AttractionFactor]

** It's Not My Role to Make Others Happy. . .

It is not your role to make others happy; it is your role to keep yourself in balance. When you pay attention to how you feel and practice self-empowering thoughts that align with who-you-really-are, you will offer an example of thriving that will be of tremendous value to those who have the benefit of observing you.

You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive or sick enough to help sick people get well. You only ever uplift from your position of strength and clarity and alignment.

--- Abraham, "Money and the Law of Attraction: Learning to Attract Wealth, Health, and Happiness"

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SAVE NO ONE BUT YOURSELF. BE YOUR OWN SUPERHERO NOT THE WORLD's

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STEVIE IS SUPERABE! I FLY FOR LUMPIA!