Work

[Tai]

I begin to enjoy my work less and less. We recently got someone from Human Resources coming to check up on us, on the paperwork etc. we had done for the last year. I didn't work there back the so my co-worker was chosen to do the interview and to show the woman all the files we had.. Well, turns out our administration is a HUGE mess, a lot of things we are obligated to do, we don't, and there are so many things that no one leanred me that I have to do and learn. I only have 2 weeks before my co-worker leaves, and no she wants to learn it all to me in 2 weeks, and I have to make everything in order, stuff from before I even worked there. Damn, I felt really shitty about that, and since I'm beginning to speak my mind more, I said I wasn't happy with this at all. I asked why no one cared to make this in order years before I was there, and why I have to do this all by myself now? Well, no answer of course. Then I decided to go to my boss to talk about this. Well, she wasn't helpful at all. And right now I feel really stuck. The last co-worker I have leaves in 2 weeks, I have no new one, that means I have to do it all by myself, also during the summer holidays (which is always hard work, working 8 hours a day) and if I am lucky I can have a temp some times. And at this moment my co-worker wants to learn me everything, when in the meantime I feel I don't want to work there. I don't want to spend my energy in this. I don't want to learn because I don't care. And you know, the learning and reading I have to do for this job, I don't even get payed for those extra hours.
I really want to work, not only for the income but because I do enjoy doing something fun, but this isn't fun anymore.
Any advice on how to deal with this situation? I feel it is really time to DO something, can't explain, but I'm ready with this feeling of being not content with my job.

Love :heart:

[Tai]

Okay, when I read that I feel relief, and then comes the but..
... if I quit now, the people at work will go crazy. I am the last one there, then there will be no one left to take care of the kids
... William will kill me. We just moved to a much more expensive house, and for the first time since I'm with him, I have to chip in. when I'm not able to do that, we will get in trouble with rent etc.

Bleh, I feel stuck. and I don't even know what I like. I love so many things, I can enjoy a lot, but in a job I just don't know.
Love :heart:

[New Dawn Rising]

Vic will kill me. We just moved to a much more expensive house, and for the first time since I'm with him, I have to chip in... Just quitting and being free of the mess sounds luscious doesn't it? But the obligation to help pay rent would stop me. If I were in your situation I would pretend to be doing the learning and cleaning up the big mess but I would actually be looking for another job. That way you can keep paying your share of the rent. And you can be more leisurely about the next job you get. Not desperately looking.

Just keep taking care of the kids and doing that part but stall on the paperwork. And STOP working those unpaid extra hours. Just don't do it. What are they going to do? Fire you? You're getting another job soon anyway right?

And another idea: If they doubled your salary would that feel better? Tell your boss that with all this added responsibility you deserve added money. You want a raise and a big one! You've got some power here Tai.

And you know, the learning and reading I have to do for this job, I don't even get payed for those extra hours.

That's ridiculous. They are taking advantage of you. Don't let them. Tell your boss you want to be paid for those extra hours. Extra work & responsibility requires extra money.

Well, turns out our administration is a HUGE mess, a lot of things we are obligated to do, we don't... then I decided to go to my boss to talk about this. Well, she wasn't helpful at all....
... if I quit now, the people at work will go crazy. I am the last one there,
Tai - do not take responsibility for things that do not belong to you. This mess is the responsibility of your boss. She should have had things done properly before you showed up. This is NOT your responsibility and they are trying to get you to buy into the belief that it is. Do not let them manipulate you.

[Tai]

Hi Susan!
I know it's ridiculous I don't get payed for it, but my boss says there's no money for it. And because of that (and many other things) I feel so NOT motivated to even go to work.

The way you described you would handle this situation, is the way I plan to do it now. But it doesn't feel completely right, because they will have to put a lot of effort in learning me stuff, and then, when I get another job, they will have to learn it to someone else. Or maybe I will. That's why I hope I will get a new colleague soon, so that (s)he can do this, and I can go back to having an easy job, something I always wanted. That's why I took this job in the first place.

I really hate being in this situation, I literally get a stomach ache when I think of going to work.
I wonder why situations like this keep coming up. Maybe it's a chance to speak my mind some more.

Thanks for your clear post Susan, it gave me some food for thought.

[Pina Colada]

Whoa NDR!I think I found my latest crush!http://s679.photobucket.com/albums/vv157/PinaColada666/Emoticons/th_biggrinlove.gif

Uhm,Tai,I suck big time at giving advices...I'm at my best when I bitch and whine....I'm just saying....You're screwed.









No,not really!Sending you love and that pink dolphin energy from yesterday.....:heart:

[New Dawn Rising]

I know it's ridiculous I don't get payed for it, but my boss says there's no money for it. You've posted on this topic before. I seem to remember there used to be 3 workers and now there will soon be only you? That means there is the salary of 2 other workers available. Until she hires 2 more full-time workers she certainly has the money available to pay you extra during this "transition" period.
The way you described you would handle this situation, is the way I plan to do it now. But it doesn't feel completely rightOK - honesty always feels better. Since you are thinking of quitting this very minute... and at the very least you are looking for another job in parallel with working this one... you have nothing to lose by being honest. Tell BossLady that you originally accepted the job of a "helper" and that is what you want to do. You do not want a promotion and you are currently looking for another job that is more in-line with what you want.

But you realize this would really hurt the company for you to leave before they are stabilized. Tell her you are willing to extend yourself temporarily and help the company succeed but only if compensated. Tell bosslady you do not need a permanent raise - just bonus money to compensate you for the extra responsibility and work until they can hire and train other workers. At that time you will be happy to go back and be a helper at your original salary... or you will be forced to resume your job search for something better.

Blah blah blah - You get my drift.

I wonder why situations like this keep coming up. Maybe it's a chance to speak my mind some more.Yes it is a chance to speak your mind. I know its scary. You are up against those societal forces about group obligation and being nice. But if you are seriously thinking about walking away from this job then you have nothing to lose and everything to gain by learning to stand up for yourself. In one sense this is a great opportunity. You learn to speak your mind here you'll be able to do it for the rest of your life. :grin:

And my FINAL bit of advice: You've got ALOT of chaos in your energy field right now as evidenced by your stomach. Clear it and then listen within for Guidance. That is always the best source of advice. And I know you know this - I just wanted to say it. :heart:

[Rodney]

Tai, it seems there is a pattern that everyone quits from this place you are working. This sounds like a failing business with lots of poor management. Find out where the other two people are working now and apply for a position to work with them. :]

In the meantime, don't work for hours you're not paid. That's manipulation.

[New Dawn Rising]

The way you described you would handle this situation, is the way I plan to do it now. But it doesn't feel completely right, because they will have to put a lot of effort in learning me stuff, and then, when I get another job, they will have to learn it to someone else.
Oops! I have something else to say! XD
Be clear about the relationship here Tai. This is a BUSINESS relationship. They are not family, they are not friends. This is business. In business people come and go all the time. That is just the way it is and everybody understands it.

If this company cared about you they would be compensating you somehow for the extra work. If this company cared about you leaving and having to relearn someone else all this stuff then they would be trying to entice you to stay. Obviously you are not happy. Your boss knows it is a risk that you will leave with all this added pressure and then she will be stuck finding someone new and learning them all the stuff. This is a risk bosslady is apparently not concerned about else she would be trying to make you happy. Get it?

There is no reason to feel guilty here. This is just the way business works. Your company has demonstrated their lack of concern about you. You owe them nothing except for the work that you were originally hired to do.... until the day you decide to leave.

OK. Now I really will shut up. :p

[Timo]

EVERYwhere you will work, will porbably show the same shit unless you turn that into a benefit!


Agree on this. It isn't about the job. Maybe it's about realizing that no job can give you enjoyment or happiness. Like Eckhart Tolle says in A New Earth it's a misperception that anything can give you joy or happiness or purpose. It just cannot. Nothing can add, nothing can diminish to who you are. No job, no mate... no thing. No thought, no emotion. You can only bring out who you are into what you do, whatever situation that may be. Tolle say, your inner purpose is primary, the outer purpose (what exactly you work, your reationships and so on, any goals.... ) is secondary. Just worth noticing, that this is not about your job. Or about staying or leaving. That's all outer stuff.

[Tai]

Susan, yesterday after I read your post I actually went from feeling powerless to feeling anger, which was a great relief to me. When I woke up I felt this knot in my stomach that I had to go to work, but I decided to not do that today, and just stay with MY truth, and just understand that this is JUST A JOB!
So, after a while my colleague started to talk to me about all the things I had to do after she left, and she made a whole list and gave me TO MUCH INFORMATION in a short time, and I was beginning to feel overwhelmed. So I decided to just stop listening and let it go for a bit. After a few minutes I began to think about what to do. One the one hand were the tasks I had to do ( I had to plan a lot of meetings with parents before the holidays begin, in a week and a half), on the other hand I felt I had too little time for that, because in that week and a half I also have to learn all the other stuff. So I thought about what felt better. Doing it or not doing it. I saw the good in both, but I felt relief when I thought of not doing it. So I went to my boss and simply told her I couldn't do it, that I needed and wanted more time. And she completely understood and gave me until September. A lot better for me. Then I heard we have a new co-worker, that starts Thursday. So that felt better as well. And after that (it all happened in 10 minutes maybe) my co-worker told me that I do get payed for the extra hours after all.
I guess this development started because I just went with what I wanted, instead of what other want from me. And I really like what you said, about this being a job, not a social contact. I seem to forget that..

11:11, my 1 co-worker is moving, the other one is working at a place I don't like, the same kinda vibe as here..

Alex, I really appreciate you showing me the correct way to say this :grin:
When you see more, please tell!

Adal, this situation can be one where I learn to sat what I want, and just stay with that, instead of what others want. Another benefit is it can teach me how to see my own value, and not just accept all the things people say to me. So with that, I want to say, please don't tell me I whine. It doesn't feel good, joke or no joke. I just felt like sharing my doubts or questions with like-minded people. When you think this is whining, then don't read it. To me it feels a bit rude when people say that. Sorry if you think this is whining too :grin:

Timo, I really liked your post. I love Eckhart Tolle. I guess my mind's too cluttered sometimes to really connect with me knowing this.

Love :heart:

[Rodney]

Look how well that unfolded. :D

[New Dawn Rising]

...and just stay with MY truth, and just understand that this is JUST A JOB!...

...So I thought about what felt better. Doing it or not doing it. I saw the good in both, but I felt relief when I thought of not doing it. So I went to my boss and simply told her I couldn't do it, that I needed and wanted more time...

...I guess this development started because I just went with what I wanted, instead of what other want from me.

...this situation can be one where I learn to say what I want, and just stay with that, instead of what others want. Another benefit is it can teach me how to see my own value, and not just accept all the things people say to me... EXCELLENT Tai! Yahoo! And it is wonderful how this all unfolded so well for you - the extra money and the extra time and the new co-worker. But the important part is that you stepped into Your Power. And you are speaking Your Truth. Congrats. :grin:
--susan

[cigi]

--susan

OMG! New Dawn has a NAME. AND it's not NEW DAWN!!!! I never knew that.

Just sayin'!

[New Dawn Rising]

OMG! New Dawn has a NAME. AND it's not NEW DAWN!!!! I never knew that.

Just sayin'! :p ;)





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[Tai]

Thanks all for your support. I really feel much better by acting out of power, instead of fear or doubt. I feel relieved, mostly because when a new co-worker comes in, I know that not everything depends on me (a feeling I hate, and I begin to realize why, I just got some more clarity where this all comes from)

Adal, of course I should only read what I find helpful. And fact is, your advice is mostly, and in this case as well, helpful, that's why I read it. When I ask advice on something like this, I don't feel at my very best, and when someone tells you to 'stop whining' or tells you you are 'whining big time' it kinda feels like kicking someone when he's down. I get the essence of what you're saying, stop paying attention to the negative around me, which I completely agree with, and indeed sometimes I do go into the negative too much. I am more the kind of person that would just say' stop paying attention to the negatives' than ' stop whining' because it's just not what I would feel is the most loving thing to say. Maybe I just like to be treated more loving than just so blunt (is that the word, ALEX, help :facelol:) But yes, we're all different, and I love you.

Love :heart:

[Pina Colada]

Go Tai!!!

http://s679.photobucket.com/albums/vv157/PinaColada666/Emoticons/th_cheer.gif

LOL,I just saw my post is number 21...like 4th time this week in other threads...Interesting...

[Tai]

Thanks Adal, that is really true. It doesn't feel good when I feel so dependent on what happens around me. Probably because it isn't true.
I begin to realize it is 'just a job' I do get so much in my mind that things blow up to such an important thing, that it is the reason for me not being really happy, but it makes no sense... Thanks for pointing this out Adal!
Kisses to you :kiss5: