Applying EGS, making statements that offer relief

[Timo]

I'm working at the moment on the subject of girls or a girlfriend and what I'm doing is that I reach for 20 minutes for better feeling thoughts/emotions. Even if I've got some questions and it still a bit hard for me to get it, at least I'm learning a bit about the process.

The first thing is, I'm not sure what emotions I actually experience. I only know if it feels right or not. I think I'm a little bit too stubborn on this, and I'm so attached to the feeling that I don't see or know what feeling it is - most of the time.

In the moment I think - that means I don't really know; it could be otherwise - that there are feelings of lonelyness, rage, unworthiness, guilt.. The thing is this kind of anger or blame feels not soft or like relief, it's like I'm pushing against something too hard with all my power. And then there are feelings that feel kind of soft but are not supported by energy, it's like beeing angry and then switch to turn the power inward by putting on a shyly, ashamed smile which pretends, "oh, all is right" - of course it isn't I'm still not going OUTWARD with my energy. Ithink I'm somewhere between guilt and anger, but I don't really know.

The thing is, I'm trying to work a little bit with this process. I know I'm trying too hard, but that's just because I think this stuff is great and it already worked for me when I was not so attached to it. I know "just be easy on yourself", but that's just another concept I tend to get too sullen with. I just think I have to figure it out somehow with the way I am at the moment, if I'm too hard on life I possibly cannot lighten up about lighten up on instant.

Any ideas on this one, thanks in advance.

Timo

[River]

It might help if you made a statement on the subject, written out. The statement helps you acknowlege where you stand and honor it, and honor yourself for being where you are. Then go from there with another statement, written out, seeing if it feels better or not. Ignore the worse feeling ones, and just rampage from the last statement, aiming for a little better. You might be having trouble because you are not specific enough. You might not have to even use the emotional scale if it gets in the way. On the other hand, once you have a statement, you can find which category it feels like and reach for higher and even one level a day can be fabulous. Or one thought that is slightly better feeling. It is just playing around with thoughts, nothing too serious. Be light about it.

Ocean at the Abe Forum wrote this helpful template helps to work up the scale. It gives statements in the EGS

Joy / Knowledge / Empowerment / Freedom / Love / Appreciation / Passion

This is bliss… I just know that… I can… It’s heaven when… I love me… I love you… So this is how my IB sees… Whatever, whatever, whatever - yeah!… All is well… I am so glad that… The better it gets, the better it gets… I love it here… I feel such appreciation for… I love knowing that… It feels so good to be alive in this physical body… There’s plenty… There’s an abundance… It’s so easy… And now?… more and better and more and better and more and better and more and better

Enthusiasm, zest, keenness, interest / Eagerness, excitement, zeal / Happiness, delight, pleasure

I’m really enjoying… I am happy that… I have a lot of energy for… I am immersing myself in… I’m so excited about… I really appreciate… It’s great that… This feels so good… Call me Pollyanna!

Positive Expectation, good prospects / Belief, faith, trust

I’m looking forward to… It’s all good… I can see that… It’ll be interesting to see… Yes, that’s it… I feel really good about… I can let that happen while I… Pretty soon… Better… Good… Better… Good…

Optimism, cheerfulness, buoyancy, confidence

I can finally see that… I am really happy about… I feel upbeat about… What if… This is a good sign... I have seen people who… I think it might actually… I love the thought that… I’m really enjoying the prospect of… Things are looking better…

Hopefulness, quite positive about(!), looking forward, anticipating, daring to believe

You know it might… I think I could… I always felt like I was meant to… I’m enjoying the thought of… Maybe… I love the idea that… I feel better about… It’s good that…

Contentment, pleasure, satisfaction, ease

Ahhh… At least… I do like… I do have… I can… I know… Sometimes… Generally speaking… I am where I am… I am what I am… I like that… It’s nice to know…

Boredom, tedium, dullness, monotony, world-weariness

I’ve had enough of this… I can’t be bothered to… What’s the point of… It’s too much like hard work… Not this again… It’s always the same… I’m not interested in… Same old, same old… On and on… I’ve seen this all before…

Pessimism, gloom, distrust, cynicism, sarcasm, scepticism, negativity

It’s so unlikely that… How can I possibly expect… Yeah right… I’ll always be… It won’t work that way for me… I haven’t done it right… I’m wrong about… It’s so ingrained, I’ll never… I can’t do… I can’t see how… Unlikely… Unlikely… Unlikely…

Frustration, aggravation, annoyance, hindrance, obstruction / Impatience, intolerance, haste, / Irritation, exasperation, bother, pest, niggle

It’s about time… It’s so annoying that… I can’t wait for… On my last nerve… I wish that… It’s not their business… Why is it taking so long… Why hasn’t it happened yet… Why again… It’s too slow… Why am I left behind… Why am I the only one still… When will… When… When… When…

Overwhelmed, snowed under, weighed down, inundated

It feels like too much… How can I possibly … No time… I don’t know what to do anymore… I just can’t seem to… I can’t manage… Too much to do… I can’t handle… Too much to cope with… Enough to deal with as it is… I’ve had enough…

Disappointment, dissatisfaction, disillusionment, regret, discontentment, disenchantment, anti-climax, let down

I’m disappointed in the way that turned out… I’m disappointed in him for… I’m disappointed in myself for… I regret that… She let me down by… It’s such a let down… I was hoping, but… I can’t imagine… I’m sad that… Why… Why… Why…

Doubt, reservations, misgivings, suspicions, hesitation, uncertainty, mistrust, disbelief, query

I can’t see how… No one else has… It’s hard to believe that… It seems unlikely that… Why would… Am I able… Does it really… Am I right… Can that be true… It might be wrong… Instead… Or… Or… Or…

Worry, concern, anxiety, bother, lose sleep, apprehension, care, agonise over, disquiet, unease, nervousness, discomfort

What if this just carries on… What if she doesn’t… What if I get hurt… What if it happens this way instead of that way… I’m concerned about… It makes me feel uncomfortable… I’m nervous that they might… The whole thing bothers me… I really care that… What if… What if…

Blame, fault, responsibility, criticise, think badly of

She should never have… It’s my fault, I… It’s about time they… It’s his fault, he always… Of course, if the government would only… I don’t have a choice, he keeps… If only I had… I should have… It’s because my parents… It’s down to me, I… If I were better I’d… It’s my own fault I… Why couldn’t they have… Why don’t they support me… You should have…

Discouragement, caution, restraint, hindrance, impediment, dismay, disappointment

What if it never… What will I do if… I thought, by now, that… Why hasn’t… When will… He’ll never… I’ll never… I’ve tried and tried, but… I’m so tired of… I wish it was easier… I’m not sure that… I can’t possibly…

Anger, annoyance, irritation, antagonism, ill feeling, ill will, hostility

I just want to smack him… I’m so angry, I could… Why doesn’t he just… Why should she… I’m so mad at you for… How could they… It’s out of order that… I can’t stand…

Revenge, vengeance, retaliation, punishment

Just you wait… She’ll be sorry… I want them to suffer like I have… He should pay for what he did… You’ll see…

Hatred, loathing, revulsion, disgust / Rage, fury, temper, wrath

I hate that I’m (always)… What did I do? I don’t deserve… How dare they… Why should they , when I… I can’t stand… I’d like to wipe that grin off his face… I’d like to see them… It’s disgusting that… I am furious with…. for…

Jealousy, envy, resentment, suspicion, distrust, spite, greed, bitterness

They have it all… She’s doing the right thing, I’m doing the wrong thing.. . He’s so perfect… I’m the only one who hasn’t/can’t… They’re not dealing with what I am… It’s all right for her… Why am I always… Why haven’t I…

Insecurity, lacking confidence, timidity, uncertainty / Guilt, blame, fault, shame, self-reproach / Unworthiness, shamefulness, disgrace, dishonour, ‘lesser’

What about me… What if I… How am I ever… I could never… I’m not enough… I’m not up to it… Maybe I just don’t deserve… I should never have… Maybe they’re right about me… What if they’re right about me… Am I that bad…

Fear, terror, dread, panic/ Grief, anguish, pain, misery/ Depression, hopelessness, melancholy, dejection/ Despair, gloom, despondency, desolation / Powerlessness, inability, weakness, hopelessness

It’s all bad… Nothing positive to say about it… Everybody… Everything… What if it never changes… Might as well give up… Why bother… Why always… Why me… No to this… No to that… No to it all…

Many good thoughts, Timo! Much love

:heart: Shannon

[Timo]

Thank you, well when I first saw this scale, I said - well this is easy and I knew immediately where I was while reading it that I was more in the Overwhelment-range with some feelings of anger and disappointment. But then I go about the list and it just confuses me, I'm not sure anymore where I am, I think maybe I'm lower and I first have to climb up are something like this when in fact I'm not that low. Well I don't know. It seems I don't see the wood for the trees. And when I think about where I'm at and look at the scale it changes the vibration and what at first seemed to be fitting isn't fitting anymore and I'm just more confused than before. Puhh... I don't know.

[Bodhi]

EGS is good to know, but there are really only 2 basic emotions you should be aware of: the one that feels good and the one that doesn't.

Either you feel better or you don't. Either you feel more comfortable or you don't.

When we talk about relief, it means you feel more comfortable in your body than a moment ago. It feels more right than a moment ago. You said it well yourself:

I only know if it feels right or not.

That's it. Keep it simple. :heart:

[Timo]

Ok, maybe you can help me a little bit. I try to reach for statements that offer relief:

I begin with:
I don't understand it all.
I have done all of this before
She just doesn't want me.
What the fuck are you doing bitch!?
It's so fucking ridicoulous, I'm doing everything I can and you still don't want to be with me? What a joke!


I don't know, either they feel upstream, pointed on the pain or like the last statement I have to laugh, but I cannot feel the energy behind it, the energy is coming more from the head and isn't really deep, it's superficial somehow. I can feel this. Once I try to feel the statement with the whole body I again feel the pain I'm attached to. So this laughing just detached from feeling it. It's hard to explain, because english isn't my first language, but I hope you see what I mean. I mean, there are many people who say this and that, who use all kinds of feeling-good-concepts in their mind, but if they are really true to themselves... they are not actually living and feeling it.

To make a long story short, I'm trying to find better feeling thoughts, but as in the example I just cannot SEE them.

Any help on this?

Thanks,

Timo.

[River]

Hi Timo
I gave it a try- maybe there is something here that feels good that you could "riff" on like a Jazz musician finding a tune.

I see where I stand, and I am full of anger at her.
It seems ridiculous, that she could not want me when I have given so much.
I have given a lot because I am worth it, and she just doesn't see my value.
Even if she doesn't see my value, I see my value, screw her as it is her loss for missing out on somebody who has a lot to give.
This is all about me, and how I feel about me, and just because one female doesn't appreciate me, doesn't mean there aren't others who will appreciate me.
This is about me reclaiming me, and it feels good to know that I matter.
It feels good to know my centeredness is there underneath this drama.
It feels good to know that expressing my anger in words makes me feel better, and that I am coming to the usual me.
It feels good to know that I don't depend on somebody else to feel good.
It feels good to know that if I play with this, I can even see some good qualities to her not being in my life.
I can see that it could be fun to spend time alone, at least stop thinking about her and think about something I like like____________.
I choose to value myself, and honor myself, by knowing that people who appreciate me are there and more could be coming.
I know that even though it didn't work out with her today, it might tomorrow, but it feels better to feel that somebody who deserves what I have to give comes along and spends time with me.
Even though they haven't come yet, I can know that it could happen, and I won't be having her around anymore which feels like relief.
I feel relief to be out of this drama. It feels good to go back to what I like, make my life about me not about pleasing her.
It feels good to reclaim myself. It feels good to be independent.
It might even feel good to be out on the town meeting people, you know in the future.

:heart: Shannon

[Timo]

Well, thank you Shannon,

"I see where I stand, and I am full of anger at her."

felt best, although it didn't feel quite right. The others are too far fetched.

[PaulaPereira]

Timo,

So she left you and you feel betrayed, hurt, confused, not-worthy, etc. Many of us have been there before, hurt by someone we thought loved us. Whether girlfriend, boyfriend, mom, or dad, or whomever. Well, there are always two ends to the stick. One is what you want and the other is what you don't want. Which end of the stick are you focusing on? The lack of girlfriend or the girlfriend that is already been given but that you haven't allowed in yet? Since we create our reality by what we focus on ask yourself what are you focusing on. You want a new girlfriend so you now have to focus on all the qualities you want in your new girlfriend. Think of how much fun you could be having with this process! You could be looking at girls on the internet, in real life, you could be appreciating qualities that you liked in your past girlfriends, you could be visualizing all the wonderful experiences that are yet to come! Why do you deserve such an awesome girlfriend? What qualities do you have that will blow her mind away? We are all blessed and perfect beings, are you seeing those qualities in yourself?

All is well-

Paula

[Bodhi]

"I see where I stand, and I am full of anger at her."

felt best, although ....

Hi Timo, see that "although"? lol

"I see where I stand, and I am full of anger at her" felt best to you, and then you added ALTHOUGH.

IFs and BUTs and ALTHOUGHs show exactly in which direction you are focused (either downstream or upstream). In this case your although turned you upstream. Try to use although in such a way it will turn you downstream. You'll get the hang of this.

Just keep looking for kinder and kinder and kinder and kinder and kinder thoughts about yourself and that girl.

Make small steps. How does this statement feel to you:

"Although this hurt me, she did what she believed was best for her - she just wanted to feel better like we all do."

[Timo]

Well, I still think I have do WORK, to change my state of consciousness. I just want to lead a normal life, I don't even want a girlfriend right know, I would be happy to know some people here. I just want to be able to apply the teaching, which it's very thought of feels upstream. It's not that empowering to know that I cannot do anything to force anything into existence. I cannot force to have a job, friends and place to live I like; it seems more likely to force THIS than to force beeing happy, feeling better and all this concepts when resisting beeing unhappy. I know, I know... I read all the books, I done this and that, imagined, believed, felt good, excited. What if applying it doesn't work consistently for me? I had many great insights, when I wasnt't pushing that hard. But when I look at my life how it is now - I don't know if I'm even supposed to call it a life, then I don't know why I should keep on struggling like this. I have got to know many ways and Abraham is by far the most simple, and powerful and encouraging teaching, still I'm not able to live it. I don't know, I think there just wasn't enough happiness in my life to beeing able to embrace that teaching, as well as other teachings. Maybe this teaching is not for people who are already struggling with life. I really would be happy to know that things are going in the right direction. I really would like to go to sleep and feel that it all is ok, and will turn out as it should. That I'm able to live what I came for.

Well well well, I just wanted to figure out how I can live the abraham-way, this thread was just an example on one area in my life. The girl I'm thinking of wasn't even my girlfriend, I just experienced with her what I felt so many times before. It's just that I think that I'm not good enough. I'm actually glad to have (had) such a great time with her. I'm not even sure I want to be with her or want her to be my girlfriend, I just want to trust her. I just want to be honest and tell her what I feel, whatever it is.

I'm just sick of trying this over and over. I know I have to go with the flow, I know I know, but I just can't figure it out, I just feel that there is a huge discontentment or resentment, unexpressed, a lot of anger... don't know what to do with it..

[Bodhi]

Well, I still think I have do WORK, to change my state of consciousness.

We never get it done, Timo. We are eternal, we keep on becoming MORE. :heart:

Oh sweetness, you haven't noticed what I have - you were way KINDER to yourself in your last post. Do you know what that means? It means that your vibration has shifted a little, yaaay!

See what you were focusing on:

I just want to lead a normal life...I would be happy to know some people here...I just want to be able to apply the teaching...I know, I know... I read all the books, I done this and that, imagined, believed, felt good, excited...I had many great insights...I have got to know many ways and Abraham is by far the most simple, and powerful and encouraging teaching...I really would be happy to know that things are going in the right direction. I really would like to go to sleep and feel that it all is ok, and will turn out as it should. That I'm able to live what I came for...I'm actually glad to have (had) such a great time with her...I just want to be honest and tell her what I feel, whatever it is...

See this!! OMG, you have done such a tremendous improvement - your last post contains so many more kinder thoughts. Timo, do yourself a favour and pat yourself on the shoulder, coz you're moving downstream baby. Slowly but surely!

You see, you used to be very angry, and now you sort of gave up - which is higher up the emotinal scale. I'm just sick of trying this over and over.

You really have made progress, my friend. :hug:

Just keep talking and having MORE of such kind thoughts. I know you might think I'm crazy, but there really is a big difference in the way you speak. I actually feel very excited for you because I know what that means - it means you're vibing in a completely NEW place and you're already attracting completely NEW stuff!! OMG, I love this, you're doing it, you're doing it!! :hug:

[PaulaPereira]

:clap:

[cigi]

Well, I still think I have do WORK, to change my state of consciousness. I just want to lead a normal life, I don't even want a girlfriend right know, I would be happy to know some people here. I just want to be able to apply the teaching, which it's very thought of feels upstream. It's not that empowering to know that I cannot do anything to force anything into existence. I cannot force to have a job, friends and place to live I like; it seems more likely to force THIS than to force beeing happy, feeling better and all this concepts when resisting beeing unhappy. I know, I know... I read all the books, I done this and that, imagined, believed, felt good, excited. What if applying it doesn't work consistently for me? I had many great insights, when I wasnt't pushing that hard. But when I look at my life how it is now - I don't know if I'm even supposed to call it a life, then I don't know why I should keep on struggling like this. I have got to know many ways and Abraham is by far the most simple, and powerful and encouraging teaching, still I'm not able to live it. I don't know, I think there just wasn't enough happiness in my life to beeing able to embrace that teaching, as well as other teachings. Maybe this teaching is not for people who are already struggling with life. I really would be happy to know that things are going in the right direction. I really would like to go to sleep and feel that it all is ok, and will turn out as it should. That I'm able to live what I came for.

Well well well, I just wanted to figure out how I can live the abraham-way, this thread was just an example on one area in my life. The girl I'm thinking of wasn't even my girlfriend, I just experienced with her what I felt so many times before. It's just that I think that I'm not good enough. I'm actually glad to have (had) such a great time with her. I'm not even sure I want to be with her or want her to be my girlfriend, I just want to trust her. I just want to be honest and tell her what I feel, whatever it is.

I'm just sick of trying this over and over. I know I have to go with the flow, I know I know, but I just can't figure it out, I just feel that there is a huge discontentment or resentment, unexpressed, a lot of anger... don't know what to do with it..


I love these posts. They're honest. I find that brave.

Hey Timo - have you considered that the EGS may not work for you? Based on what you've written, it seems to me that you may have a problem with trying to convince yourself that you feel something that's not authentic. Maybe that's where the "forcing" comes in.

The Hicks have laid out lots of different processes. They can't all be the right fit for everyone. Just because some are more complicated than others doesn't make them more effective.

Maybe you should consider gratitude & appreciation instead. That way you don't have to pour through every feeling & examine it & try to change it. It could be so much easier to take a few minutes to write out a list of things you like. It could even be a meditative process for you & a lot less like "work"!

[River]

I would add that you are doing very well, Timo. On your way, really :clap: to feeling better.

And I emphasize kindness to yourself in your thinking. Appreciation as Cigi said is powerful. Write out stuff you appreciate starting with simple things like that you have your preferred cerel for breakfast. You covers are soft and warm. Move on to bigger things, and rampage about YOU as best you can. You may try to analyze this exercise, and don't, just start doing it as a regular practice, nor matter how silly or futile it may seem. It makes a difference in your internal vibe and will make a difference in what and who you attract and the quality of your interactions.

Tell yourself what you like about you.
Here is an Abe quote:

" If you are wanting to come into the full appreciation of self, we would encourage you to write in your Book of Positive Aspects, which is nothing more than a notebook called Positive Aspects, write pages, upon pages of positive aspects that you see about YOU, and if you don't see any today then write "I want to see some positive aspects about me!!"

We would encourage you to look for your value everywhere that you can. Look for reasons to adore you. And what will happen is, every time you think a though that is in harmony with that which your Inner Being knows to be, you will feel good. Every time you think a thought that is NOT in harmony with that which your inner being knows to be, you will feel bad.

By paying attention to the way that you feel, you will begin to notice that when you are thinking thoughts that are praising yourself , you feel good, and when you are thinking thoughts that are diminishing yourself, you feel bad!!

When you are thinking in terms of "I CAN, I CAN , I CAN," you will feel good. When you are thinking in terms of "I can't", you will feel bad.

This is an individual process whereby you as an individual decide that you want to feel good about you. Now we can do a very good sales job, we can attempt to convince you why that is a good thing. When you feel good about YOU, you are vibrating positive energy! When you vibrate positive energy you are positively attracting.

If you are wanting all of those things to come to you which include, the mate you have been wanting, the money you have been wanting, the work that is more satisfying and more fulfilling, the new house that you are wanting, the car that you are wanting, all of those things of a physical or non-physical nature that you have been wanting, the re-claiming of your perfect bodily health that you are wanting, if you are wanting ANY of those things that you are identifying as your desire, to come into your experience, it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that you come to a place of positive vibration."

Extracted from the Abraham-Hicks tape AB20 Self Appreciation

Here is a video to watch YouTube- Self Appreciation (Part 1) Abraham-Hicks

:heart: Shannon

We are all cheering you on and at the same time cheering ourselves on. We are in this together.