Fear

[Tai]

Hi all
I have a question about an issue I've been 'working on' for years. It's actually one of my biggest 'problems' (I know how this sounds, but I have to describe it somehow)
As long as I can remember, I've been afraid to lose control over things. I always wanted to know where everything was, that everything and everyone around me (including myself) was safe. This has developed in hypochondria from until I was about 14 (I'm 23 now) The hypochondria (afraid of getting ill) changed forms in the years. For instance, for many years I was afraid with every little pain that I had something serious. Another thing is that I can also have periods where I can be afraid of small illnesses, like the flu etc. I've managed to overcome a part of that fear with the help of a psychologist. It's not gone, but I do have a 'reasonable' voice now, that tells me to calm down when I feel something, and that can calm me down. Actually, since I started listening to Abe and Eckhart Tolle etc. and started meditating, I developed a more clear connection with my IB I think, and that gave me much more trust in me.
But, there are still some issues that I would love to resolve. The reason I'm writing about this now is mostly that in my new job (working with kids) I feel the fear is coming up again. Kids are 'sick' a lot of the time, and I notice that I have moments where I panic when I think about that. I see that its holding me back to fully enjoy. Because I love my job, and I don't want to ruin it by this fear.
I know the underlying fear is the fear of losing control, and I have a good idea where that comes from. But I want to let this fear go, and get more into my own power. Has any of you dealt with something like this, or something similar, and has any tips?
Love :heart:
Tai

[Jen2174]

Stay in constant contact with your IB. I have to do this all day long. I have to ask questions i want answered and wait for an image to come to me that answers them and 99% of the time, its positive and helpful and inspirational. if you feel like you have support it makes things easier in this crazy world.
as far as being sick goes, Ill tell you what has helped me. I have been exactly like you in the past, identical as far as hypochondriac goes. Abraham has helped me get out of that. for me, I dont believe in what science says, i know everything is energy, and just because there are sick kids around doesnt mean you have to get sick. noone has to get sick ever again. I tell myself often, that illness is someone else's manifestation. They manifested something, private to them and you dont have to pick it up. i dont believe in germs anymore. My friend is really strong about not getting sick and never does. I had a virus last year, and I had a bad bad cold about four months ago, and she never got anything because her belief systems helped that.

[Good Vibrations]

yuck! little kids are so germy! lol.

But being around all those dirty, germy little children will actually HELP your immune system.

We're all exposed to germs all the time. Yet we don't all get sick, right? So what causes some people to catch the flu when other people have also been exposed and remain healthy? Vibration, perhaps?

The more joy you allow to flow and the less you focus on stress, the healthier your immune system will be.

I admit to being a bit of a germaphobe myself, but I almost NEVER get sick. Wash your hands before your eat, don't touch your face too much during the day and enjoy playing with the kids! :) You'll be better than fine:)

[AttractionFactor]

Hi all
But, there are still some issues that I would love to resolve. The reason I'm writing about this now is mostly that in my new job (working with kids) I feel the fear is coming up again. Kids are 'sick' a lot of the time, and I notice that I have moments where I panic when I think about that. I see that its holding me back to fully enjoy. Because I love my job, and I don't want to ruin it by this fear.
I know the underlying fear is the fear of losing control, and I have a good idea where that comes from. But I want to let this fear go, and get more into my own power. Has any of you dealt with something like this, or something similar, and has any tips?
Love :heart:
Tai

Hi Tai,

The kids are only a trigger. They are not causing your fearful reaction, instead your thoughts are.

In order to change a pattern of thinking, like a negative belief of fear, you have to gradually change your point of focus, about how you look at that fearful feeling. It really doesn't matter what the fear is, or how you describe it from where it came from in your past; what matters is how it makes you feel negative, and not good, right now. As my signature says, your point of power is only in the present.

So your work is to find ways to change the direction of your focus, when this fear is triggered. When a sick kid comes in your experience at work, you can then feel this fear being triggered, as it has your attention.

What's common for most people is to explain the reaction. As you listen to the Abraham lectures, you will hear a common theme that we tend to be explainers of reality, where we explain in detail what we perceive as true. So when you come across a sick kid, you are now in the reaction mode of explaining your fear, and how it got your attention.

But, the Abraham teachings also say do not give reality your attention, if you do not like it. So you need to stop explaining your fear. If you do, you will continue to create it.

So instead, your work would be to find a way to feel better, as you focus on this fear. From where you are now, I recommend you write a list of thoughts that can rework your thinking about how you choose to look at sick kids. I also recommend you do this list daily, for a twenty minute duration, as that fear is being triggered when you concentrate on it.

Where are you on the Emotional Scale? Sounds like you are low on the scale, like in powerlessness. What thoughts can you think that can give you a feeling of relief from where you are ? How can you focus in that direction daily for a twenty minute duration?

Steve

[Tai]

Thanks for all your replies.
Steve, I loved what you wrote. It's true that the kids are only a trigger, because everything that comes in my experience that has to do with being sick causes me to feel fear. They are all triggers for the fearful thought I have in me
And explaining where this comes from indeed doesn't help these thoughts. Instead what I really want is to forget about the things that come into my experience. For example, when I hear about 'flu-season' or things like that, I want to hear it, and then forget about it a minute after that.
Your advice about the list is a good one. Right now I am in between to main feelings, the feeling of powerlessness and hope, the second one gives me a feeling of relief but then I get back to feeling powerless after that. I keep going back and forth.
Love :heart:

[AttractionFactor]

Thanks for all your replies.
Steve,
Your advice about the list is a good one. Right now I am in between to main feelings, the feeling of powerlessness and hope, the second one gives me a feeling of relief but then I get back to feeling powerless after that. I keep going back and forth.
Love :heart:

Hi Tai,

Have you heard of the Yuma analogy mentioned in the Abraham teachings? (I provided a link at the bottom of this post.) If you, like Jerry and Esther, were to drive from Phoenix Arizona to San Diego, you would drive the distance from Point A (Phoenix) to Point B (San Diego). However half way there is Yuma, and if you were in Yuma, you would know that you were half way to San Diego. You would not feel hopeless that you were not there, and drive back to Phoenix because you did not make the trip. Instead you would move forward, despite the fact you were not where you wanted to be.

This story parallels the emotional journey we take with deliberate creation. You want to move up from the feeling of powerlessness (like the fear of getting sick), and you do reach for the feeling of relief, (and likewise you are getting closer to San Diego), but then you notice you are not feeling exactly the way you wanted to be, so you just get disappointed, and so you go back and forth to the prior feeling (where you just drive back to Phoenix).

When taking the emotional journey, all you are reaching for is the feeling of relief. You are not reaching for the feeling of release from the fear that you built up over a period of time. It's going to take some time to release that feeling, and it won't happen over one practice session. It may take quite a few, but if you keep on reaching daily, you are bound to move from Point A (powerlessness) to Point B(freedom from fear). Just know there are varying emotions between the two points, and when you find a better feeling thought (remember it's not the best feeling, instead just a feeling of relief) then you've made progress.

In September, we talked about changing a belief on Jen's thread, and I paralleled mind training with exercise. It takes practice, like it takes practice to build a muscle or a better body. You may want to reference this one: f2/1912.html#p28341 (http://abetalk.com/f2/1912.html#p28341). I have a unique way of communicating humor when I parallel the Abraham teachings, but it's the same concept that you have to keep on practicing.

You also may want to relook at the Emotional Journey, as paralled with the Phoenix/San Diego analogy. Here is a lecture that explains the Emotional Journey from the Abraham Hicks website:
http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattra ... hp?eid=829 (http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/journal.php?eid=829)

Steve

[Tai]

That was very nice to read.
I know that new empowering thoughts feel much better than the fear. I think I feel disappointment when my new feeling (hope or trust) doesn't stay long, and then I go back again. But maybe if I keep practicing, the new feeling will stay with me longer and longer.
Love :heart:

[Tai]

Well, believe it or not, but only two weeks in this job and I have the flu..
I even had to call in sick this week (the third week of working here) which really bummed me out, since I enjoy my work. Luckily my boss understood, and she wasn't mad at all and very sweet.
The weird thing is, that I never get sick, even though I have a lot of negative thoughts about it. And the moment I started finding better feeling thoughts, and finding some relief, I got the flu.. Why is that??
Also, I want to get something good out of this. I want to learn from this! Any wise words from my wise friends??
Love :heart:
Tai

[cigi]

And the moment I started finding better feeling thoughts, and finding some relief, I got the flu.. Why is that??


Esther refers to this as "hitting a tree."

The only thing to do now, is push your boat back into the current & get going again. ;)

[Tai]

Hey Christy, long time no see :hug: haha you know what I mean.
I remember hearing the 'hitting a tree' thing, was that about when you go downstream faster than you used to and that's when you hit the tree harder or something like that?

[asjairok]

dear Tai,
I haven't read all the answers
I hope I will not repeat someone here :D
look
children will create sickness sometimes just because they would love to be at home with their mother/ or fother-grandmother---
that's a game...they recieve what they want on this strange way...
so don't :wink2: panic :lol:

[Tai]

Hi Ana :heart:
Yes, these kids do love it to stay at home, or to get some extra attention.
But I do know that right now I did create / attract being sick myself, no wonder since I was thinking about it a lot, with a lot of sick people in my experience.
I would love to receive some advice on how you guys handle 'flu-season' and things like that. I think you are all a bit more down to earth on this subject, since I don't think you all have fear of this. so when you hear about flu etc., what are your thought? Or do you just don't think about it at all and forget it?
Love :heart:

[asjairok]

well it's true that flu doesn't influence me,
and when it happens it goes quickly
but in time that it's here I probably live my home life and I recall that I than gain some thought naturally and from my IB that points me on which thought of mine caused this, and than it's over.
Not a big deal. :wave:

[asjairok]

every time that you go from your truth...your pain of leaving your truth always leads you back to God's care. :wink2: :heart: :kiss3: :kiss3: :kiss3: :meditate: :D :kiss4:

[Tai]

well it's true that flu doesn't influence me,
and when it happens it goes quickly
but in time that it's here I probably live my home life and I recall that I than gain some thought naturally and from my IB that points me on which thought of mine caused this, and than it's over.
Not a big deal. :wave:

Thanks Ana, I try to open up for this too, and I think I discover more of why I created this.
Kisses :kiss4:

[cigi]

Hey Christy, long time no see :hug: haha you know what I mean.
I remember hearing the 'hitting a tree' thing, was that about when you go downstream faster than you used to and that's when you hit the tree harder or something like that?

:hug: to you too, Tai.

"Hitting a tree" is just Abespeak for obstacles in your path. As you begin to manifest the things you want in life, your "current" speeds up. Things that were once minor annoyances become a bigger deal because they stand in stark contrast to what you're moving toward.

It's no big deal, just push your boat back into the stream & get moving again. And in your case, I'd recommend heavy doses of vitamin C. :D