Other people's vibration: you and them

[buhhumbug]

Hey guys. I posted this another abe forum (abrahamappreciators.com) I was curious what you guys had to say. Thanks!

So I have a question in regards to interactions with other people. So much of the things we experience in life are a reflection of ourselves. My new boyfriend is positively awesome. I'm so happy to have him in life. For some reason I've been feeling a little off in the past few days and today he told me he's not sure if he's as attracted to me as he was when we first started dating. While my reaction was to normally be upset, I was actually extremely understanding. Part of me feels like his response is a reflection of my momentary negative thoughts, however with all my negative thoughts I always find a way to pivot out of them. But this situation just struck me because I couldn't quite understand if his feelings were a reaction to my feelings or had more to do with him then with me. Nonetheless, when he told me that my clouded thoughts completely disappeared. I actually really appreciate that he told me that because it gave me a lot of clarification on how I feel about him - which is that I like him alot. So what I'm asking I guess, is about whether his feelings were a reaction to my feelings or more about his own vibration. Thanks in advance as always guys!

[buhhumbug]

So I actually sort of ended up giving myself some of my own advice.
Here's the realization I cultivated:

fter thinking about it a little more I realized that not only is my job to allow myself to love me but also to remember to focus purely on how I'm flowing energy to him, not so much on he's flowing energy to me. I realized that all my great relationships with people, specifically my friends and my parents, all came to be how they are because I focused on how much I loved them and they reflected it right back at me.

I feel like the issue with relationships is that when people experience the connection of feeling another pour source on them, you can become dependent on that feeling as your source of happiness. Which is why when that person doesn't give that same feeling, you accuse them for your bad feelings. And I'm approaching this not only from my perspective of my boyfriend but his perspective of me.

He said he was feeling off. Whether that was his own thoughts, or a reflection of my thoughts, I know that he likes me and I know that I like him. We're going on our winter break so I feel like this will be the perfect chance for me to reconnect with me and him to reorient his feelings about me. Honestly, it couldn't have come at a better time. This is more inspiration for me to be with me even more then I was already planning to!

I think that if I continue to stay stable in my connection with myself, then any connection I experience with a guy will not be what I depend on for my connection to Source but just a nice extension of the connection I already have within me. And then when I experience my relationship from that perspective of my connection to Source I will only be vibrating love and inviting the best of the best into my experience, whether it's with him or someone else.

Either way, I think tonight I'm just going to write a long list of things I appreciate about him - because there is a lot. This really is the perfect opprotunity to cultivate a wonderful, stronger, loving connection with myslf. I think the key to any relationship is just remembering that you are the only one responsible for your happiness. So rather then focusing on the whole mix of things going on with my boyfriend, instead I need to focus on the parts of the pie that make me feel good.

[Dance of Joy]

Yes, well done. I like all that you have said.

When things got a bit dicey in my relationship, I reminded myself that I will have my dream relationship, whether with this person or another. It is done. :biggrin:

[buhhumbug]

Thanks alot Christine. That feels good.

Much Love

Megan

[Tai]

Hi Megan!
I think his feelings have only to do with his own vibration, just as your feelings have only to do with your vibration. Of course his feelings can come as a reaction to your 'lower' thoughts, but then still it's only HIS beliefs/reaction to your vibration that made him vibrate lower.. Wow, that sounded really complicated rofl but I think you know what I mean
I mean, when I feel down, or have negative thoughts, my BF usually becomes a bit cranky. And of course I know that I attract it at that point. But still, it's HIS feelings, his beliefs that made him cranky. I can't create in his reality, he only can choose to get influenced by me. Same way the other way around, when he feels down, I get annoyed, even though I know it's not him creating for me, but my own beliefs.
Also, when someone has negative thoughts, then (at least in my experience) there's almost no room for feelings of love and appreciation. So maybe right now your BF isn't totally connected to his feelings of love and appreciation for you, and he doesn't totally feel it, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have them anymore. Give him the time to feel good again, and give yourself time to feel good again, as you said, you are good at that! And before you know it you'll be both in love again! (because being in love has everything to do with YOUR OWN vibration)

Love :heart:
Tai

[New Dawn Rising]

I think that if I continue to stay stable in my connection with myself, then any connection I experience with a guy will not be what I depend on for my connection to Source but just a nice extension of the connection I already have within me. And then when I experience my relationship from that perspective of my connection to Source I will only be vibrating love and inviting the best of the best into my experience, whether it's with him or someone else.
Beautifully said! :clap:

[jonquil]

Relationships.

Like Money, food, security, or anything we can experience, comes in waves.

Sometimes high.

Sometimes low.

It seems to me that you are doing a lot of self-talk, and that your self is giving many answers, and that you are listening.

While I understand that a stable and giving relationship is desirable, it seems to my self that your growing ability to hear your true self speak is of the highest value, and that it DOES give you a large degree of comfort!

You are starting to realize that you are complete in-and-of yourself.

That only means that you are more open to give.

That only means that you are more open to receive.

JOB WELL DONE!

You have grown to be the equal of what you desire.

Congratulations!

Jonquil

[buhhumbug]

Thanks for your replies guys.
Tai- That makes perfect sense. He has his vibration and I have mine, and while they are affected by eachother, it is our free will that allows us to become disconnected by observing something we do not like. Even yesterday night and today, now that I'm feeling more like myself again what he told me yesterday just doesn't quite make sense from the higher vibration I'm currently on. Now it's more like, "oh well." I was vibing low, he responded to it and he moved away. The entire thing all together just reminded me so clearly that I need to focus on myelf and my feelings more and not depend on him for my happiness. It really inspired me to stay in connection with myself, which is a wonderful thing. It sort of shocked me back into my right place I feel. So in essence I actually really appreciate that contrast, it served as a wonderful reminder. And I'm confident that the relationship between us will spark back up again, because I know that as I focus on my connection with me, I will also be focusing on what I appreciate about him - which I think I stopped doing at one point. I just gotta be me and that's that.

New Dawn Rising -Thanks!!

Jonquil - interesting point. Something I definitely took away from this was listening to myself more and feeling me more. I've discovered from my break up with my ex boyfriend over the summer that I am definitely complete in and of myself but experiences like this always shock that reminder into me even more. Also while I am desiring a stable and giving relationship I know that when I have that within myself and feel that comfort then that will be reflected back to me in all areas of life. Like that JCPenny's commercial "It's all inside". lol

[River]

I say give up trying to figure it out and focus on your own joy, stepping from the best moment possible to the best moment possible and on and and on. Remember what thrills you and makes you happy, and seeing the positive aspects in every situation and your relationship in the now moment. Your relationship with you is the one that matters.

:heart: Shannon

[buhhumbug]

Thanks Shannon :)

[buhhumbug]

Hey guys!
Just thought I'd give everyone an update . Last night and today I've been feeling very good about everything. I spoke to my boyfriend last night and this morning. Our conversation was really nice and easy. Anyways, today I got into a wonderful rampage on him, remembering some beautiful moments I spent with him over our Fall Break and really feeling the way I wanted to feel about him. Rather then just with my words, I wrote with my feelings. After I had been vibing so high I explained to my friend how yesterday felt almost silly but I appreciated it anyways because it made me realize how much I really liked him. I really wasn't worrying at all. I had few negative thoughts which I pivoted easily away from and I didn't worry about how it wold all work out because I just enjoyed the sensation of feeling asg good as I was feeling.

Well...on my drive home across the state I talked to him on the phone and he told me and I quote, that "yesterday was just silly and that he really likes me alot and that there is no reason why we shouldn't be together." The beautiful thing about it is that the way I felt earlier today before he told me this is the same I felt after he told me this. I had reached the feeling place and I was there and that was it.

So now I'm just going to continue to spend my break becoming habitual in my postive thoughts about him. Thanks so much everyone for all your help. I definitely learned that contrast is really really good for so many beautiful reasons when you just allow yourself to experience them. This whole thing just put everything back into perspective for me and I can see that our relationship is going to be ever stronger because of our new renewed feelings for eachother, which is essentially what the experience showed me.

Much much love!
Megan

[Tai]

Wow Megan, you are very powerful! This was a great example of that.
Have fun with your guy ^^
Love :heart:
Tai

[Dance of Joy]

:biggrin: Yay, Megan. You are doing SO well. :dance: It is amazing what we create when we are in love instead of fear.

There is a natural ebb and flow to any relationship. When we are aligned with Source, it is is much easier to ride!

Love,
Christine

[buhhumbug]

Thanks guys! I agree with the natural flow, although I think it's always there just in life and connecting to Source allows you to flow with it in all areas. I'm looking forward to riding the wave of it though :)