Heping a negative friend the Abe way

[Jen415]

Hi y'all...I have a sweet friend who has studied Abe for awhile now....yet he is still naturally negative. He claims that no matter how much he pivots, etc., in difficult situations, he can't get his feelings/attitude to change. He attracts SO MUCH CRAP into his life it's unreal!

I know for him it is based in unworthyness...he grew up with an alcoholic dad that beat him for the hell of it. He is fighting years and years of being told he's not good enough.

How can I help him turn it around??

Thanks....

[Zesty]

If its really that bad have him meditate. I know when you're in a bad mood, nothing can really help even though you 'know' what to do. Meditation however is by far the most powerful way in my opinion.

It will be hard at first but after a week or two of seeing how his mind works, hell start to learn how its all an illusion and it will start to become much easier to control. not to mention when you dont think, your vibration aturally rises. after 1 hour of meditation I feel great joy, and in his case he'll prolly feel way more relieved in general

Also check out the book "Power of Now" by eckhert Tolle...

[RICHann]

Jen,

I am thinking this is not the answer you intended on to begin with, but I feel inspired to share it anyways. Just be YOU and ask Source to see your friends as Source sees him. And remember, that in doing so that again, nothing you want (like seeing him through Source) is upstream.

I just went through a very similar experience and asked your same question.

I am closing the gap on this one. And also, I follow guidance to get the hell away from them, stop looking and observing "what is" when it does not feel good. I want to be able to look at anything, be around anyone, listen to anyone and keep my vibrational balance. Hey, ask and it is given. It's done! I am expanding into this and it is unfolding sooner than later! Yet, I allow myself to be easy about it and to have fun with it. And nothing is more important than that I feel good, that I stay aligned with ME, so when my inner being says, stop listening, stop looking, stop helping and go have some fun-I'm listening! Then I keep my vibration at a level that I can truly allow this person to be right where they are and see it as perfect and at the same time be eager about seeing them line up with all that is in their and my own vibrational escrow.

Wow, thanks for asking this question Jen. It so helped me to clarify my expansion by sharing what I've learned of late!

Much LOVE,
RICHann

[asjairok]

But is she having any progress at all,or none?
because it would be strange that there is none progress, than she really doesn't follow, doesn't get anything about what is Abraham talking.
She shouldn't and you as well , shouldn't be bothered by the thing she is getting there more slowly than you would like-it's ok. Step by step - "be easy on that". I also couldn't swallow every sentence in the first reading, it takes time to get there, if she is motivated to change her life, she will do it with time. It takes time to accept the truth, because of years and years of negative concepts, that we all lived, translated from our parents, elders, .. :heart: It' s ok.

[AttractionFactor]

Hi Jen,

The only thing you can do is to manage your vibration - which is the only
thing you ever have control over - when you are around your friend.

People who are negative have accustomed themselves to their negativity.
They can only change better feeling thought, by better feeling thought, up the
Emotional Scale;however, they have to do the work. You cannot do it for them.

You can however see them in their strength and not pay attention
to their negativity. This parallels how Jesus saw people, who others
deemed as sick like the leper. He did not give their sickness notice.
He only focused on what was good and did not see the sickness,
and the leper caught up to how Jesus saw him, and acclimated to what
Jesus envisioned by his example. That type of vibration is how Jesus healed.

One important thing about Abraham is to allow others to be as they are.
And that means to allow others to be negative and not try to fix them.
When you fix them you fall into their vibration there is something
wrong with them, which is a reality they have created in their perception,
which you have now enforced, and you're really not helping them.

When you allow them and see them as Source, which is they are fine
and perfect as they are, and not enforcing their belief their is something
wrong with then, you are teaching best by example and by approval,
instead of pushing your beliefs on to someone, who is set to think a certain way,
that this is how it is done.

The latter normally doesn't work.

Steve

[asjairok]

Hi Jen,

The only thing you can do is to manage your vibration - which is the only
thing you ever have control over - when you are around your friend.

People who are negative have accustomed themselves to their negativity.
They can only change better feeling thought, by better feeling thought, up the
Emotional Scale;however, they have to do the work. You cannot do it for them.

You can however see them in their strength and not pay attention
to their negativity. This parallels how Jesus saw people, who others
deemed as sick like the leper. He did not give their sickness notice.
He only focused on what was good and did not see the sickness,
and the leper caught up to how Jesus saw him, and acclimated to what
Jesus envisioned by his example. That type of vibration is how Jesus healed.

One important thing about Abraham is to allow others to be as they are.
And that means to allow others to be negative and not try to fix them.
When you fix them you fall into their vibration there is something
wrong with them, which is a reality they have created in their perception,
which you have now enforced, and you're really not helping them.



The latter normally doesn't work.

Steve
WHAT THIS MEANS: THE LATTER NORMALLY DOESN'T WORK :mrgreen: :?:
THIS IS VERY INTERESTING,WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT JESUS,
AND THIS IS GIVING ME A LOT TO THINK ABOUT : HOW TO FOCUS ON GOOD IN PEOPLE, HOW TO FOCUS ON THAT THERE IS EVERYTHING GOOD ABOUT THEM.
I SEE THE TRUTH OF IT, BUT I'LL HAVE TO TAKE TIME TO MAKE IT PART OF MY SYSTEM, BUT THIS IS A GOOD LEAD, INDEED :D ,
LOVE :loveflag:
ANA

[Jen415]

Thanks, friends! (BTW< sorry about all the spelling errors--sheesh! You think I'd never taken an English class before!!)

Funny thing--all the responses you gave me line up with what my friend told me when we talked about this yesterday. I asked him how I can help him; he said "Just be you....and love me like Source does."

I just LOOOVE synchronicity!!

So my dominant thought today is to see EVERYONE I encounter through the eyes of source....

Thank you again, everyone! :heart:

[AttractionFactor]

Hi Jen,

The only thing you can do is to manage your vibration - which is the only
thing you ever have control over - when you are around your friend.

One important thing about Abraham is to allow others to be as they are.
And that means to allow others to be negative and not try to fix them.
When you fix them you fall into their vibration there is something
wrong with them, which is a reality they have created in their perception,
which you have now enforced, and you're really not helping them.

The latter normally doesn't work.


WHAT THIS MEANS: THE LATTER NORMALLY DOESN'T WORK :mrgreen: :?:



Hi Ana,

Thanks for making me question a bit more on the meaning of allowing. I'm still working on doing it.

When I stated the "latter normally doesn't work," I'm referencing the action of fixing people to
our way of seeing things. We all do this, with people who are negative or people who make us
feel negative.

For example if I had a negative person in my life, and I did not like their negative behavior,
because I too felt negative after being with them, I would ask them to change so I too would stop feeling negative. Yet this is opposite of what Abraham teaches. Abraham teaches we can have a person in our experience, who may think and act negative, but we do not need to react to their negativity. We simply allow them to be, even without trying to fix them. Our work is to just
focus on positive aspects on them and not give the negativity reality. We only accept them as they are.

For me I think that is important, because I have been in the habit of trying to fix others
to my level of thinking. Yet it isn't our job to fix others, since they are creating their own reality.
Our work is to just manage our reality, or our point of attraction, because it's all we have control over.

When we try to manage someone else's, then we are trying to do the impossible. We are trying
to tell someone to act a certain way, so we can observe them so we can not react if they act
differently. Abraham would teach us that everyone is fine just the way are, and our only job is
to correct our perception of them.

Steve

[asjairok]

Hi Jen,

The only thing you can do is to manage your vibration - which is the only
thing you ever have control over - when you are around your friend.

One important thing about Abraham is to allow others to be as they are.
And that means to allow others to be negative and not try to fix them.
When you fix them you fall into their vibration there is something
wrong with them, which is a reality they have created in their perception,
which you have now enforced, and you're really not helping them.

The latter normally doesn't work.


WHAT THIS MEANS: THE LATTER NORMALLY DOESN'T WORK :mrgreen: :?:



Hi Ana,

Thanks for making me question a bit more on the meaning of allowing. I'm still working on doing it.

When I stated the "latter normally doesn't work," I'm referencing the action of fixing people to
our way of seeing things. We all do this, with people who are negative or people who make us
feel negative.

For example if I had a negative person in my life, and I did not like their negative behavior,
because I too felt negative after being with them, I would ask them to change so I too would stop feeling negative. Yet this is opposite of what Abraham teaches. Abraham teaches we can have a person in our experience, who may think and act negative, but we do not need to react to their negativity. We simply allow them to be, even without trying to fix them. Our work is to just
focus on positive aspects on them and not give the negativity reality. We only accept them as they are.

For me I think that is important, because I have been in the habit of trying to fix others
to my level of thinking. Yet it isn't our job to fix others, since they are creating their own reality.
Our work is to just manage our reality, or our point of attraction, because it's all we have control over.

When we try to manage someone else's, then we are trying to do the impossible. We are trying
to tell someone to act a certain way, so we can observe them so we can not react if they act
differently. Abraham would teach us that everyone is fine just the way are, and our only job is
to correct our perception of them.

Steve
THANK YOU STEVE; YOU'RE APPRECIATED :heart: :P
this is great reminder! :) :P http://www.smeski.com/razni/ljubezen/love5.gif

[SeattleSekhmet74]

Hi y'all...I have a sweet friend who has studied Abe for awhile now....yet he is still naturally negative. He claims that no matter how much he pivots, etc., in difficult situations, he can't get his feelings/attitude to change. He attracts SO MUCH CRAP into his life it's unreal!

I know for him it is based in unworthyness...he grew up with an alcoholic dad that beat him for the hell of it. He is fighting years and years of being told he's not good enough.

How can I help him turn it around??

Thanks....
Hey Jen:)
Is your friend asking for help? If not, I would leave it be and just be a vibrational inspiration by your example. However if your friend is talking about the situation and is looking to turn things around and open to advice, then I think you are exactly on the right track on their belief of unworthiness. I know that Abe doesn't talk about this much (or at least that I've seen) other than saying that you have to believe that you can have what you are wanting in order to get it, but there is a lot to be said for working with your belief system. I would recommend Louise Hay's "You Can Heal Your Life" which is a wonderful wonderful book on changing your beliefs about yourself and learning to love yourself on so many different levels. She as well as a so many authors (actually it is the core of the purpose behind "A Course in Miracles" is that usually all that is needed to change a belief is forgiveness, of yourself, others, etc, and being able to see the perfection in it all (I'm being sort of vague only because it's really so much to go into in just this post). I would also recommend a very abe book I'm reading now called Radical Forgiveness (I forget the author...Colin something I think). I think positive affirmation cds/tapes aka self-hypnosis are very powerful as well, as well as doing affirmations, writing them down, mirror work, keeping a daily gratitude journal, writing often in a Book of Positive Aspects (not only about other people and situations but also oneself). There are a ton of other books and authors I can recommend. The truth is, if someone really wants results, you have to be willing to do the mental "work" (I say work not in the drudgery but willing to do whatever it takes, and 99% of it is mental (the other 1% is following inspired action) to feel better and better and better, and yes that will involve changing your beliefs if you are starting from a place of not feeling good--and it's not necessarily one before the other but more simultaneously.
Ok I really rambled on, hope some of that made sense.:)

--jenn