QUALITIES of a Great Relationship

[cigi]

Hello Beautiful Abeish Friends!

Everyone here is at a different stage in his/her romantic relationship. Some are long-timers, others are just starting up and others are still looking for that right one. We all chat & post about it a good bit.

So I thought it would be fun & interesting to have a thread based on the QUALITIES of a good relationship. What are you looking for? What do you have that works? What do you see that needs to become part of your relationship in order to enhance it?

I'll start:

Letting Go of Expectations
In truly letting go of the expectations of my husband, I have become so much happier in our relationship. I do not need or expect him to give me any particular feedback for me to feel happy, worthy, beautiful or special. I can choose to feel that way on my own, and by releasing him from having to "perform" for my benefit, he is free to just be himself. AND since he has that freedom, I feel that his behavior is much more authentic - so when he compliments me or does something nice, it never seems that he is trying to "keep me happy". Since adopting this level of thought into our relationship, we are both so much more at ease, we get along better - we just ENJOY each other more.

So now you guys add your thoughts of what important QUALITIES you have (or are looking for) in your ideal relationship. This'll be interesting......

:love: :love:
cigi

[Jen415]

Qualities for me would be:
--to be TITITO to Source (whether they realize they are or not!)
--knowing that I have more than enough love for them and anyone else I would like to love (in other words, no jealousy)
--they need to allow me to be me

I'm extremely fortunate that I already have all of this in my life--doubled in fact! :)

:heart: :queen: :heart: Jen

[vineyardnancy]

:scratch: :heart: Holy Cow Cegi!
I was just looking through my saved folder of "great Abe stuff"
and I found this that I copied from another forum.

Yea - Give me this!!!
Optimum Relationship
Passionate, loving, joyful, harmonious, laughter filled, growth-filled, gratitude-infused, and powerful partnership with my perfect mate. Sparkling clarity in self-awareness and communication for both of us.

[Steph]

I'll start:

Letting Go of Expectations


Great thread starter!
Loving because I am a natural born lover - and I think that comes down to what you said, Cigi - loving not because I am expecting something back, but because it feels good to love!!

Always looking for the best in my partner, and appreciating the heck out of it!! I have seen many people who choose to focus on the things they don't like about their partner, totally missing out on their wonderful qualities.

Loving myself!!! I struggled with my relationship when I didn't love myself. Loving myself makes me a vortex of love!

Playing and dreaming together - keeping that fun and connection alive in a relationship.

In love and joy, Steph

[cigi]

oooh - these are all so good! Thanks girlies! :kiss4: :kiss4:

So far we have:
Loving because I am a natural born lover - and I think that comes down to what you said, Cigi - loving not because I am expecting something back, but because it feels good to love!!

Always looking for the best in my partner, and appreciating the heck out of it!! I have seen many people who choose to focus on the things they don't like about their partner, totally missing out on their wonderful qualities.

Loving myself!!! I struggled with my relationship when I didn't love myself. Loving myself makes me a vortex of love!

Playing and dreaming together - keeping that fun and connection alive in a relationship.
from Steph

Passionate, loving, joyful, harmonious, laughter filled, growth-filled, gratitude-infused, and powerful partnership with my perfect mate. Sparkling clarity in self-awareness and communication for both of us.
from Nancy

AND.....
--to be TITITO to Source (whether they realize they are or not!)
--knowing that I have more than enough love for them and anyone else I would like to love (in other words, no jealousy)
--they need to allow me to be me
from Jennijenjen

And of course.....Letting Go of Expectations!

Alright, this is good stuff - keep 'em coming!

[sara]

Well guys and gals and thread starter Ms Cigi,

Obviously I do not have a clue here rofl rofl :heart: rofl rofl rofl :heart: :heart: :scratch:>>>>>>>

Since I have been dating ........or something rofl rofl :heart: :heart: rofl rofl for eons...........
And I am still here in singles ville

I think that I will just read your wisdom a while and learn at your all's feet :heart: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :heart: :hug: :hug: :heart:
:kiss:

[cigi]

I would add,

*Trust.
Trust in a relationship is a must! When a relationship loses it... the relationship is lost!

*Allowance.
Someone who you can be yourself with.

*Comfort
No need to strike poses, no need to impress.

*Fun!!
A relationship where both parts enjoy doing whatever they set out to do with lots of laughs, interest, curiosity.

* ROMANCE
A relationship where a stare means a gift from the Universe.


OH YEAH! Great additions to the list, Adal. Thanks for your input!

:love: :love:

[River]

Support for being my true self.
Co-creation.
Passion. Touching and being touched and held,and massage. :meditate:
Dancing. Singing.
Deep conversation.
Laughter.
Harmony.
Easy.
Communication.
Fun of course.
Joy beyond joy.
Nurturing one another in a way that allows complete freedom.
Understanding that sometimes I want or don't want something because that is the way I feel, and I don't have to defend that or rationalize it.
Generosity.
Alone time and together time, and time with friends.
Inspiring, uplifting.
Adventurous.
Space so we can speak and live our truth and expand more to who we truly are.
Where I find true alignment with self in relation to having a partner, and my partner does the same.
Each of us hearing and living our inner guidance.
Acceptance and approval of one another. Support. A supportive community of our creation. Love.

:heart: Shannon

I have liked what others have shared-interesting thread!

[asjairok]

SMILE TOGETHER ON THINGS WITH SPIRIT, ALWAYS SMILE.
LOVING EACH OTHER PASSIONATELY.
LISTENING
WITH ATTENTION.
HUGGING.
BEING THERE EVEN SILENTLY.
BEING AN ANGEL.
TOUCHING
WITH HANDS OF LOVE.
HAVING FAITH IN EACH OTHER.
KNOWING TIME WILL GIVE GROWTH. :heart:

[Izzy]

*Deliberate cocreation, where we both can dream our dreams and create our future together

*Aliveness - Keeping it fun and adventurous. Doing more things that will bring aliveness to the mix

*Awesome conversations - To share our dreams and opinions, to find joy in each other's point of view

*Fun sex - In the closet, on the table, in the bathroom, in the car, on the couch, in the studio, you get my point.

[asjairok]

*Deliberate cocreation, where we both can dream our dreams and create our future together

Yea, that's what I'm talking about! :downstream1: :dance2:

[asjairok]

Tolerance to the odd :porc: :roll:

rofl :lol: rofl rofl

[asjairok]

Well guys and gals and thread starter Ms Cigi,

Obviously I do not have a clue here rofl rofl :heart: rofl rofl rofl :heart: :heart: :scratch:>>>>>>>

Since I have been dating ........or something rofl rofl :heart: :heart: rofl rofl for eons...........
And I am still here in singles ville

I think that I will just read your wisdom a while and learn at your all's feet :heart: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :heart: :hug: :hug: :heart:
:kiss:
Drink here my dear, relationship feelings and mind pictures for free!

[Izzy]

For Nancy-Louise and everybody else:

Question:
I would like to be in a romantic relationship, i'm 54 never been married,
I met a man that I would like to be with, we've been corresponding, we both date people, he dates alot of different women, we still talk to eachother but I keep seeing that he dates alot of different women, so i'm thinking 'oh no he is a playboy', so should I hold the intention that he be the one, or just see myself in a beautiful loving relationship?

Abraham:
The answer is within you., And you'll feel it as we point it out. If holding this particular person as the image of what your moving toward makes your heart sing, as you dance toward it, then hold the image. But if holding the image of him specifically makes you feel uncomfortable then that particular image is not serving you well. We would like to say to you that, when you get to the heart of vibration, when you get yourself into alignment with your own desire, source will open an avenue for your partner to come swiftly. And when you interact you both will know it. There won't be any 'yeah I enjoy your company, but meanwhile Id like to check out the four billion other women, just in case theres someone better'. When you've done the vibrational work, and then the action thats inspired unfolds, and you meet someone you know it. Whats happened here is, you've had a physical action experience, previous to doing the vibrational work. And your trying
after the fact, to make it into the right thing. And its going about it the hard way. It just wasn't a good sync up for you. It doesn't mean he is inappropriate, or you are inappropriate, it means there are much easier relationships that the universe is lining up for you.

Questioner:
So what way of being can I have to bring myself to the right person?

Abraham: Well, we were talking about hypnosis earlier, and practiced thought, we were talking about how environment hypnotizes you into patterns of thought, so that you radiate a signal, and the signal your radiating is, i'm unmarried, i've been for 54 years, you want to offer a different signal, you have to offer a signal that says 'i'm fun to be with', 'I enjoy co-creating', 'i'm fun to be with', 'i'm loving life', and 'im open for change'. We understand that you are explaining where you are, but in your explaining, is activating your story, your activating 'i'm tired of what i've been getting'.

Later>>>

Find relief, move in the right direction and your feelings will tell you so. What do you want to say about you?

Questioner:
I don't want to listen to all these people anymore. I don't even want to listen to that guy who's checking out everybody else, when he's got me standing right in front of him!

*roaring laughter and clapping*

Abraham: AND??? your on a roll...

Questioner: And anybody else whos checking other people out!

Abraham: your not just mad at him your mad at all of them, is that what your telling us?

Questioner: because...

Abraham: BECAUSE.......

Questioner: because of my dad... um, no (hesitating at wrong answer).

Abraham: its alright, we had something else in mind, when we said 'because' we wanted you to say............

Questioner: BECAUSE I'M WORTH CHECKING OUT ....!!!!

Abraham: YES YES YES!!!
______________________

Washington workshop october 15, 2005

[asjairok]

Nile&Leah.jpg[/attachment:idbbxe5w]
heheh , you beauty you !

[cigi]

Well guys, I think we are on our way to building the most perfect relationship on the planet! Maybe we should write a book! ;)

[asjairok]

WE COULD ACTUALLY WRITE MANY BOOKS ON THIS FORUM!!!

[asjairok]

THAT IS AWESOMCOSMIC IDEA
.........

[Dance of Joy]

:clap: :clap: Leah!

[Dance of Joy]

Ahhhh... reading these... words cannot convey my appreciation for your relationships and the beauty you exude!

You have shown me what I can have. I thank you so very much! (My heart is so tender right now...)

Mwah!!!

Christine

[Mueni]

Wow. I love love love this thread. All the relationship stories are amazing. I was hanging out last night with two couples in beautiful relationships too and reading this thread felt like being there all over again. I love that I know this this time around as I am consciously creating my perfect relationship.

I love the ability to play and laugh together. Its like having a special playmate who is always the same age as you inside and always having a special playground where you can disappear to together. I love that. :love:
I love it when your dreams grow in the same direction. From the moment I met S I have sort of become his resident IB in my head, as soon as he shares a dream with me I ride the rocket of desire and see him transformed to be the person he desires to be and when he forgets I remind him of who he is. I feel he does the same for me too. I love this. :love:
Feeling like the other person is the most amazing person in the Universe (besides you of course) and getting thrilled when you remember that they feel the same way about you. It always comes as a delightful surprise to me.
Blending into each other so you both take in each others best qualities and become more while still keeping that which makes you uniquely you.
Sharing wonderful experiences and reliving them in funny shared stories.
Making a family together. Having kids and watching them grow up together.
Creating a safe haven whenever you get together, a special space where you can just be, it can happen anywhere even with a phone conversation, feeling transported to a special place where you are the highest and best of everything you have ever desired. Kinda like an instant VE moment. I love that.
I love finding something new to celebrate and appreciate every single day. I love feeling so inspired to be my best and highest. I love knowing that it is still always all about me. All about where I'm vibrating and what I'm attracting. So so sooooo goood to know this. I love it. :love: :heart:

[Dance of Joy]

Creating a safe haven whenever you get together, a special space where you can just be, it can happen anywhere even with a phone conversation, feeling transported to a special place where you are the highest and best of everything you have ever desired. Kinda like an instant VE moment. I love that.

YES!!! That please!

Mwah, Mueni!

[Dance of Joy]

like Bethy said:
Unconditional Love Always Forever!! :heart:

See? This is why I love and adore all you guys. YOU GET THIS!

Unconditional love is what creates MAGIC!

SWEET love to you all!
Christine

[Naturally]

:heart: :kiss1: :heart: :kiss4: :heart: :kiss2: :heart: :kiss3: :heart: :kiss1: :heart: :kiss4: :heart: :kiss3: :heart: :kiss1: :kiss1: :heart: :kiss4: :heart: :kiss1: :heart: :kiss2: :heart: :love:

How this resonates with me...Beth you are so on it!! and Mueni too! Thank you Christy for starting such an inspiring thread. Christine I feel you....
It is reminding all of us of our true nature. I feel that all of us on this forum attracted this moment to grow deeply in love with ourselves, each other and radiate more of it...become conduits for Source (Love) to flow thru us....yummy delicious unconditional love ABOUNDS!!!

I love you guys!!!!!!
:heart: Naturally Kambe

[Tai]

Beth, WOW :clap:
Love :heart:
Tai

[Deva]

ME TOO ME TOO

I LOVE IT TOO!!

FREEDOM!!

[Dance of Joy]

Yes, Lisa!

And let me say, when you do that, any and all relationships can be THE ONE.

Because you were the ONE all along.... :heart:

[Mueni]

ME TOO ME TOO

I LOVE IT TOO!!

FREEDOM!!

Oh Shari, you truly are orgasmic. :love: I love this. The committment question came up between me and S and while I have been taught to seek committment what I really wanted was freedom, for the both of us. Whenever I tried to seek signs of committment, I'd hit a bump, it is what I thought I wanted but it really wasn't what I wanted. I'm a freedom seeking and giving being,It is what makes me happiest, it is who I am. :meditate: I want to be with someone who is freely choosing to be with me moment to moment to moment without necessarily having any outward signs of committment. :hug: Faced with the choice between freedom and committment. I chose freedom. I'm committed to freedom and I love it. :clap:

The better it gets, the better it gets, since we had the talk things are even better than I dreamed possible. Who knew it could be this good. :love: Woohoo freedom!

I LOVE IT TOO!

FREEDOM! :dance:

[Deva]

I want to be with someone who is freely choosing to be with me moment to moment to moment without necessarily having any outward signs of committment.

YES!!! Mueni you speak the words of my heart... When I think about my boyfriend I write or say 'I want us to want to be in the same kinds of places, so that we would be there naturally, even without the other but we just end up together.... I want us to love doing the same kinds of things.. I want us to be together because it feels good and its natural and its fits & flows..... Thats what i want.. an organic relationship.... :D :D :D

Commitment is fine by me if it feels downstream

But whaddya need labels for?

[asjairok]

I want to be with someone who is freely choosing to be with me moment to moment to moment without necessarily having any outward signs of committment.

YES!!! Mueni you speak the words of my heart... When I think about my boyfriend I write or say 'I want us to want to be in the same kinds of places, so that we would be there naturally, even without the other but we just end up together.... I want us to love doing the same kinds of things.. I want us to be together because it feels good and its natural and its fits & flows..... Thats what i want.. an organic relationship.... :D :D :D

Commitment is fine by me if it feels downstream

But whaddya need labels for?
I'D SAY I HAVE THIS :heart: !

[cigi]

I want to be with someone who is freely choosing to be with me moment to moment to moment without necessarily having any outward signs of committment. Faced with the choice between freedom and committment. I chose freedom. I'm committed to freedom and I love it.
FREEDOM! :dance:

Mueni - that is so beautiful. i totally agree! freedom is where it's at, baby :dance: feeling that magnet pull you toward someone because you FEEL it deeply, not because you have to. i love it :heart:

This thread just keeps getting better. The more we explore our true desires when it comes to a relationship, the more it resonates with me.

This is what I meant by releasing expectations - FREEDOM. I love knowing that in my relationship, we are not struggling each other's voids, that we are simply loving each other because we do. I love that we are able to enjoy each other's expansion, that we support that growth & that expansion gives us each more reason to love the other.

Everyday I find more reasons to want to co-create with my husband. Our expansion just makes him all the more interesting to me. I love the journey down the stream that we are taking TOGETHER!!

Can't wait to see what will happen next!
:love: :love: